This story is 100% real and accurate. The names have been changed to maintain 100% anonymity.I had been hanging out with Penny for a couple of weeks now. We’ve been on a handful of dates. Last night she wanted me to come over a little later and watch a pre-season football game on TV. What kind of guy would I have been to turn down football and a night out with a girl who I had a gigantic crush on? 🙂
I had been noticing that Penny didn’t quite seem as interested in me as she was at the very beginning of this courtship. Penny has a unique situation in her life so I was being very patient with her. I was doing what I am really bad at doing… waiting. I liked her, a lot. So I knew she would be worth the wait. She was everything I wanted in a woman.
None-the-less, we finished watching the football game… the night was pretty uneventful. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but things just weren’t quite right. Anyway, Penny asked after the game was over:
“Ready for bed?”
“Sure am.” I said and got up from the sofa and followed her upstairs to her room. She went into her bathroom and came out in this gorgeous nightgown. It made me want her even more. I wanted her to be my girl. I could tell she didn’t have any panties on as I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her into me. I softly kissed her and slowly rubbed my hands up and down her body.
[THIS CONTENT HAS BEEN REDACTED OUT OF RESPECT FOR PENNY]
Long story short… we had sex.
We finished up after I made sure she was satisfied. Then it got awkward. At this point I could tell… she was using me. She was using me for sex. Or something… maybe just to keep her company. I don’t know. But she obviously didn’t feel about me the way I feel about her.
We laid in bed and she laid as far apart from me as she could. Barely within reaching distance in her king size bed. I leaned over as far as I could and kissed her on her forehead and said good night.
“Night.” she replied as my heart sank. I knew this would be the first and last night I would ever stay with her.
I couldn’t sleep. But she fell asleep fairly quickly. She had been drinking so I’m sure the alcohol helped her drift off pretty quickly. But I just laid there for about an hour until finally I drifted off to sleep. I woke up 3 hours later to find things just as they were when I drifted off.
I had to pee so I got up quietly, went to the bathroom and returned. I just layed there and watched her for a while… marveling at her beauty. I’d look out the window from time to time and see the moon reflecting off the water. I was soaking in the environment as I knew this would be my last time seeing her.
Off and on through out the night I would lightly touch her arm just to feel her body against mine. She was cool to the touch, I knew my hand was warm on her. I fell deeper into her as my heart continue to cry out. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the last time I’d ever see her.
At 5:47am she woke up and at that minute the greatest 47 minutes of my life began.
She rolled and lifted her head up and placed her head on my shoulder. I leaned down and kissed her softly on her head. I never said a word… and neither did she. I knew she was awake but I didn’t say a word. I just layed there and thank God. I prayed as hard as I could for several minutes for God to please let this be the woman for me. Over and over again I prayed the same prayer.
The closer it got to 6am the lighter it became outside. The suns soft rays begin to show over the horizon as they drifted onto the water surface as I stared out her bedroom windows.
I leaned in and kissed her softly again, thanking God at the same time for allowing me this time with this woman I care for so much.
Eventually Penny rolled over right in my arms and placed her back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her stomach and pulled closer to her. I once again kissed her softly on her shoulder feeling how cool she was as her ceiling fan blew down on us.
I continued to pray and at this point beg God to please let this woman be for me. The longer I laid beside her the more my love and passion grew for her. I knew well before I got up that morning I wanted her to be my woman.
15 more minutes went by. All I did was lay beside her and glanced at her beauty. She was gorgeous. Eventually she rolled over one last time and laid her head on my chest. I rubbed her shoulder and she slowly rubbed me with her right hand. I was falling deeper and deeper with every stroke.
At 6:30am her alarm went off. She pulled away from me reached for her phone on her night stand. She cut it off and came back to me… but not as close this time.
She stretched and said she wasn’t ready to get up.
“Stay just 5 more minutes?” I replied.
“5 more minutes?” She said. I didn’t respond as she sank back into her pillow and comforter. I again reached for her around her waist and pulled myself closer to her. And again, I kissed her forehead ever so softly.
And at 6:34am she finally pushed the covers back from around her chest and moved to get up. I followed suit and we sat up together and looked out the window.
“Wow, I just saw a huge fish jump!” I said.
“It probably a mullet.” She responded.
I was shocked she new what a mullet was! It made me like her even more. She spun around, put her feet on the floor and got up. She looked at the floor and said, “There’s clothes everywhere.”.
I felt bad, all I had on the floor was a pair of shorts, 1 shirt and my sandals. I guess I should have picked them up and done something different with them last night. But I was more concentrated on having sex at the time! HA.
None-the-less, I knew that would be the last time I ever laid with her. I could feel it in my bones.
I got up, put my clothes on and followed her back down stairs. I made my way to her front door as she got some water. She followed behind me. She gave me a hug and a kiss good bye. And essentially… that was that.
I left that morning trying my hardest to make mental snapshots of everything I experienced in that 47 minutes. Her face, her body, the moon, the water, the fish. She felt so good in my arms… and truthfully, thats why I am blogging this experience…
…I don’t ever want to forget those 47 minutes in which she was my girl. She was beside me in my arms. I was her protector. Thats what I had been wanting for 8 very long years.
Later that morning I texted her and made small chit chat… and well…. that seemed normal. But that afternoon… I took a leap and over stepped.
“So… is this going anywhere… or is it too soon to tell?” I texted her
Her response almost 30 minutes later.
[PARAPHRASING] “I’m not in a place where I can commit the time to be in a ‘relationship’. I know you’re in a different place. I don’t want to stop you from finding something you want”
“Ok, I understand.” I texted right back with a love-sick broken heart.
I got in my truck and cried… and cried… and cried.
It was all a trick I said to myself. I spent so much time and money with this girl and now it’s all for nothing. I fell for her so fast. I did all the right things. I was funny. I was smart. I was patient. I was understanding. So WHY??!?!?!?
WHY CAN’T I HAVE HER??? Why can’t those 47 minutes be repeated every morning? Why must I continue to go through this every time.
I’ll never understand.
Penny, you’re an amazing woman. I loved every minute of every day I spent in your life. I truly hope our paths cross again sometime.
A Single Guy